By Justin Brown
Growing older often brings with it a wealth of experiences, wisdom, and self-discovery.
As time passes, our perspectives shift and we begin to see the world – and ourselves – through a more compassionate lens.
This journey may be marked by subtle signs that we are growing not just in age, but in kindness as well.
These signs can be easy to miss amid the rush of life.
But upon a closer look, you may realize that these changes have been quietly shaping you into a more empathetic and kind-hearted individual.
Here are some subtle signs that you are becoming a kinder person as you grow older.
Recognizing these changes can inspire you to continue on this path of personal growth and compassion.
You listen more
In the frenzy of youth, we often find ourselves rushing to share our thoughts, eager to prove we have something valuable to say.
But as we mature, we begin to understand the power of silence and the gift of truly listening to others.
Listening isn’t just about being quiet while someone else talks.
It’s about giving them your full attention, showing interest in what they’re saying, and striving to understand their perspective.
It’s about creating a safe space where others feel heard and valued.
This shift from speaking to listening can be subtle but profound.
You may find yourself naturally adopting a quieter demeanor during conversations, allowing others to express themselves freely.
You might also notice that you’re more curious about people’s stories, experiences, and insights.
Becoming a better listener is a sign of growing kindness.
It reflects an increased sense of empathy and respect for others’ perspectives.
And it’s a powerful way of showing that you care.
This change isn’t about being less assertive or silencing your own voice. It’s about creating a balance in communication where everyone feels heard and valued.
You’re more patient with others
In my younger years, I often found myself in a rush, always looking to the next goal, the next achievement.
I had little patience for people who didn’t move at the same pace or share my urgency.
It was an attitude that sometimes strained my relationships and left me feeling constantly on edge.
But as I’ve grown older, I’ve found my patience expanding.
I’ve come to understand that everyone moves at their own pace and has their own unique journey.
I’ve learned to value people for who they are, not just for what they can achieve or how quickly they can get things done.
Now, when someone is struggling or moving slower than I would like, I try to offer patience and understanding instead of frustration.
I remind myself that we all have our own challenges and that everyone deserves kindness and respect, regardless of their pace.
This shift has been subtle, but it’s made a significant difference in my relationships and my overall sense of peace.
And it’s a sign that I’m becoming a kinder person as I get older.
You’ve learned to let go of judgments
Reflecting back, my journey towards patience and understanding has been closely tied to learning to let go of judgments.
Early on, I often found myself forming quick opinions about people based on limited information.
It was a way of categorizing the world, of making sense of the chaos around me.
But it was also a barrier to truly connecting with others.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that these snap judgments were often more about my own insecurities and fears than the person I was judging.
And I’ve discovered that when we judge others, we miss out on the richness of their experiences, the depth of their character, and the potential for genuine connection.
Learning to let go of judgments doesn’t mean ignoring harmful behaviors or neglecting our own boundaries.
It’s about approaching people with an open mind and heart, seeing them for who they truly are rather than fitting them into predefined boxes.
This change has been a subtle but powerful shift in my perspective.
It’s led to deeper connections, greater empathy, and a more nuanced understanding of the world around me.
You’re not afraid to show vulnerability
There’s a common misconception that kindness is about always being strong for others, always having it all together.
But in my experience, one of the most profound acts of kindness we can offer is our own vulnerability.
In the past, I often felt the need to present a facade of strength and confidence, fearing that showing any weakness would make me less respectable or less capable.
But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that this notion couldn’t be further from the truth.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable, to share our struggles and fears, can be incredibly powerful.
It shows others that they’re not alone in their struggles, that it’s okay to be human and imperfect.
It fosters a sense of shared humanity and empathy, forging deeper connections and mutual understanding.
In embracing my own vulnerability, I’ve also found it easier to accept and empathize with the vulnerabilities of others.
This has opened up a whole new level of kindness and compassion in my interactions.
So while it may seem counterintuitive, showing our own vulnerability can be a subtle sign that we are becoming kinder as we grow older.
You extend kindness to yourself
It’s often easy to forget that kindness begins with ourselves.
We may go out of our way to show compassion and understanding to others, yet be harsh and critical with ourselves.
This internal imbalance can limit our capacity for genuine empathy and connection.
In my own journey, I’ve noticed that as I become older, I’ve slowly learned the art of self-compassion.
Instead of berating myself for every mistake or perceived flaw, I’ve started treating myself with the same kindness I would extend to a friend.
This shift has been subtle and gradual, yet extraordinarily transformative.
I’ve found that extending compassion to myself has deepened my capacity for kindness towards others.
It’s like a wellspring of empathy and understanding that starts from within and overflows into my interactions with those around me.
If you’re noticing this shift in yourself, it’s a powerful sign of growing kindness.
You find joy in the happiness of others
Kindness is often associated with acts of service or words of affirmation.
But an often overlooked aspect of kindness is the ability to find joy in other people’s happiness.
This may seem like a simple thing, but it’s actually quite profound and somewhat unexpected.
In our culture, we’re often conditioned to view success as a zero-sum game.
If someone else succeeds, we may feel that they’ve taken something away from us.
As I’ve grown older, I’ve come to realize that this mindset is rooted in scarcity and fear.
The truth is, there’s enough happiness to go around.
When we celebrate the joys and successes of others, we’re not diminishing our own potential for happiness.
Instead, we’re expanding our capacity for joy and connection.
Now, when someone shares good news with me, I take a moment to genuinely rejoice in their happiness.
This simple act has deepened my relationships and brought a sense of shared joy into my life.
So if you find yourself smiling when a friend shares their good news or feeling a warmth in your heart when you see a stranger laugh, take note.
These are subtle signs that you’re becoming kinder as you grow older.
You embrace forgiveness
With the passing of years, I’ve come to realize that holding onto grudges and resentments only weighs me down.
It’s like carrying a heavy backpack everywhere I go – it’s tiring, it’s burdensome, and it prevents me from fully enjoying the journey.
So, I’ve learned to embrace the power of forgiveness.
Now, this doesn’t mean excusing harmful behavior or letting go of healthy boundaries.
It’s about releasing the bitterness and resentment that can cloud our hearts and poison our relationships.
Forgiving someone can be a deeply personal and transformative act of kindness – both towards the person we’re forgiving and towards ourselves.
It’s a way of saying, “I choose peace over conflict. I choose love over hate.”
And importantly, forgiveness extends to ourselves too. We all make mistakes, we all have regrets.
Learning to forgive ourselves for our missteps is a crucial part of cultivating self-kindness.
You value connection over competition
In my younger years, I often viewed life as a competition. I was constantly comparing myself to others, striving to be better, faster, smarter.
But as I’ve grown older, I’ve realized that this mindset was more isolating than empowering.
I’ve come to understand that life isn’t a race with winners and losers.
It’s a journey marked by shared experiences and connections.
And it’s these connections that truly enrich our lives.
Now, instead of viewing others as competitors, I see them as fellow travelers on this journey of life.
I seek out shared experiences and mutual growth rather than striving to outdo or overshadow them.
This shift from competition to connection has been subtle but significant.
It’s brought more warmth, joy, and authenticity into my relationships.
And it’s a powerful sign that I’m becoming kinder as I grow older.
You choose empathy over judgment
There was a time when I would be quick to judge others for their actions or choices.
It was an automatic response, a way of categorizing people into neat boxes.
But over time, I’ve realized that this approach was limiting my worldview and stiffening my capacity for empathy.
Now, when I encounter someone who acts or thinks differently, I try to understand their perspective.
I remind myself that everyone has their own story, their own struggles, and their own journey.
And it’s not my place to judge them based on a narrow slice of their life.
Choosing empathy over judgment has been a profound shift in my attitude towards others.
It’s helped me to see people in a more nuanced light and foster deeper connections.
Wow , this let me know it is alright getting up in years after-all.