How To Recognize Fake Friends We Are Better Without

Many of us experience this at some time. I’ve had my share of them through the years. They can be quite stressful, and even diminish your joy in life – depending on how well they play the part. Fake Friends, who needs them? Not you, not me. This is an excellent article I found that will help you identify them, because some of us can find them a little confusing; how much they really care or maybe do they care at all? They can be quite a disturbing influence and be somewhat complex in nature. These days, such people abound. After reading the following, you will have no doubt in your mind, and know exactly what you’re dealing with, because as I say, some can be a little confusing and even affect your emotions or frame of thinking if we let these kinds of friendships persist. You really don’t need them, go for genuine friendships if you can.

Sometimes we can improve on poor quality friendships that can be worth saving but some are outright Fake. When improving poor quality friendships, it should take two people, not one. Some people can be quite lazy, I’ve found that a few times through the years. We will look at different ways someone can be a Fake Friend – there are some common denominators. Sometimes people are plain not thinking of what kind of Friendship they are offering you and you need to address that with them. You should choose your words carefully in a calm manner and keep them short.  However, let’s weed out the true offenders and improve our quality of life. I trust this article will prove beneficial for each one of you, best wishes to all.


By Paul Sanders

Having fake friends is a struggle almost every single one of us suffer from. Fake friends are rampant and often very difficult to spot. A lot of people will take advantage of the kindness and warmth of other people. They’ll simply treat them as tools instead of being actual friends with them. If you feel like you have “friends” that are like this, you’ll know it for sure with the help of this article.

They can indeed be difficult to spot at first, but fake friends have a series of patterns and habits that make them stick out like a sore thumb eventually. Here are some of the clearest signs of fake friends.

1. They Seldom Do Favors For You

Fake friends will seldom do favors for you. This is because they expect the relationship to be one-sided. They’ll expect you to do favors for them but they will never bother doing the same thing for you. In fact, even if you seem like you’re feeling under, they’ll never bother asking what they can do for you.

Even if you do personally ask them for a favor, in most cases, they will find a way or a reason to get out of it. Keep this in mind. If you ever have a friend who never thinks about your well-being, you may have a fake friend on your hands.

2. They Never Ask How You’re Going

Aside from never doing any favor for you, they will also rarely just ask you how you’re doing. They may start a chit-chat by asking, “How have you been?” but that’s simply small talk rather than a serious, sincere query. This is because they, as horrible as it sounds, don’t care enough about your well-being.

Think about this one hard enough. If you have a friend who has never asked you how you’re doing, even after you haven’t spoken with them in a long time, they may not care about your friendship as much as you do, if they even care about it at all.

3. They Often Only Show Up When They Need Something

There are “friends” out there who only show up when they need something. “Friends” like these are fake ones. Most of the time, they’re radio silent. They will never ask you how you’re doing, they won’t invite you to anything, they won’t even make their presence felt to you on social media.

However, the time will come when they’ll need something from you. When this happens, they will suddenly appear out of thin air. They’ll converse with you for a few moments until they get to what they really need from you: a favor.

4. They Only Show Kindness When You’ve Done Something For Them

To give credit where credit is due, a fake friend will actually show kindness to you in some instances. For example, they’ll start showing kindness to you after you’ve done something good for them. It may seem nice for a while, but this act of kindness will immediately dissipate. The next time they’ll act this way again is before and after you do a favor for them.

Although they don’t do this intentionally, by doing this, you’ll feel motivated to help them out time and time again. That’s because you are being rewarded with momentary kindness each time you go out of your way to help them out. Take note that the keyword here is “momentary.” This kindness is false and insincere. It’s almost like it’s a tool used to simply manipulate you into helping them.

5. They Talk About You Behind Your Back

One of the worst things fake friends do to you is talk about you behind your back. A fake friend will often talk about you to other people. They’ll talk about you to their “real” friends. The worst part is that the things they’re going to be saying about you are not going to be all good things. In fact, it’s rarely good things, if it ever is.

The things they’re going to be saying about you are often toxic. They’ll talk about gripes they have about you. They’ll talk about your flaws, insecurities, and bad behaviors. Your life and everything you find wrong about yourself will be revealed to a lot of people, against your will.

6. They Seldom Congratulate You

Fake friends will rarely ever congratulate you on your achievements. It’s almost as if they’d rather see you remain stagnant than to see you improve and rise up above your station. This is because the more successful you become, the less susceptible you will be to their control.

They will almost always dissuade you from success. They’ll feel bitter when they start noticing you becoming a better version of yourself. It’s a very terrible thing to do, but it’s something fake friends always do anyway.

7. They Try To Compete With You

Aside from not wanting you to succeed, fake friends will also do their best to compete with you. They hate it if you become better than they are. So, if you do become more successful, they will do their best to one-up you. To become better than you. They will compete with you just so they can more successful than you are.

Not only will they try to let you remain in your station, but they’ll also make sure their station is above yours.

8. You Can Feel Their Envy

Fake friends are envious. Whenever good things happen to you, whenever anything decent becomes a reality for you, they’ll feel envious. You won’t always feel it, you might not even know it right away, but that envy is there. You may even have suspected it already. The more you think about it, the more it will make sense.

The reason for this envy is stemmed from their disdain for the idea of you succeeding. Not only will they want you to remain as you are, but they’ll also think that any success that comes your way should go their way instead.

9. They Tease You Way Too Much

Playful teasing isn’t unheard of when it comes to friends. It can be a part of it, in fact. Friends tease each other but it’s mostly harmless. Some teasing can even go too far, but an apology will always come after that if someone happens to unintentionally go too far. That’s what happens when you’re surrounded by real friends.

With fake friends, however, the teasing will always go too far. Apologies aren’t even on the table. They will make fun of you without any regard for your emotions. Fake friends can be very insensitive simply because they don’t care enough about your feelings.

10. They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries

Another thing fake friends don’t care enough about is your boundaries. They will push you over the edge if it means they can make things go their way. If there’s something you’re uncomfortable doing, they’ll ask you to do it anyway.

If you want to rest up and have time for yourself, they will disregard this if they need you to help them then and there. Your boundaries will absolutely mean nothing to them. It’s almost as if they won’t even acknowledge it.

11. They Don’t Bother Getting Invested In Your Interests

A true friend will always go out of their way to at least get to know your interests. They don’t always have to get into it as you do, but they’ll at least learn a little bit about it from you, show interest, and become a little bit invested. Fake friends, however, will never bother doing this. This takes effort and that’s something they’ll never give to you.

Whenever you talk about the things that interest you around them, the best thing they’ll do is feign interest. It’s never sincere and they will do their best to quickly move on to another topic. A topic that’s preferably centered on them rather than one that’s centered on you.

12. They Never Stand Up For You

If you get into trouble, a true friend will do their best to help you out. If someone else ever tries to cause trouble for you, they’ll stand up for you. That’s what friends do, after all. They’ll stand up for you just as you would for them.

Fake friends, however, not so much. If someone wrongs you, they’ll simply stand by and allow that to happen. They won’t help you at all. They might if you personally ask for their help, but their effort will be very minimal and their cooperation will be forced.

13. They’re More Upbeat When They’re Around Other Friends Than With You

Have you ever noticed a friend that’s very bland with you but very upbeat when they’re around their other friends? This alone should tell you that this friend is fake. How they’re acting around others is how they are with their “real” friends whereas they’re simply faking things with you. They stick around with you because they have something to gain.

As horrible as this seems, this is simply the reality of things when it comes to fake friends. They have other people they consider “true” friends and they act normal around them. Unfortunately, you’re just not one of those people.

14. They Barely Seem Happy When They See You

A fake friend will show little to no excitement in seeing you. Mind you, a true friend won’t always jump around in celebration at the sight of you, nor should they, but you will always sense a feeling of satisfaction and positive energy from them when you meet them.

For fake friends, however, the feeling is very… dead. It’s almost as if there’s nothing there. If there is, it seems faked and forced. This is what you can expect from fake friends. They will always seem very barely happy when they see you and that’s because they don’t consider you a “true” friend at all.

15. You Walk On Eggshells Around Them

Because of all of the things you feel about them, you will begin to walk around eggshells when it comes to fake friends. You’re almost not yourself when you’re around them. You’re very careful. You want to fulfill their wishes and you’re very careful not to offend them.

This isn’t how friendships should be. Friendships should be a two-way street. If you’re walking on eggshells around someone, it’s almost as if you’re seeing them as a superior rather than as an equal.

16. The Secrets You Share With Them Gets Spread Around

Here’s one very easy way of telling whether someone is a fake friend or not. If you’ve ever shared a secret with someone and that secret suddenly gets shared around, have no doubt in your mind that that person is a fake friend. You shared something with them that’s intimate and private, yet they’ve wasted no time in passing that secret around.

Be careful with these friends. As mentioned already, a fake friend will always talk about you behind your back. This extends to your secrets. When this happens to you, cut that friend from your life immediately. We’ll talk about that more and in detail later on.

17. They’re Very Manipulative

Fake friends can be very manipulative. They have to be. The reason why they’re sticking around with you is that they want something from you. They need things from you. They can do this by being manipulative.

A fake friend can and will definitely do their best so that you’ll do things for their benefit. From favors to demands and connections to benefits, they will spin you around if it means it will make things happen for them.

18. They Can’t Sympathize And Empathize With You

Fake friends will never sympathize and empathize with you. If they do, they won’t care enough to actually act on it. That is, of course, unless it can benefit them. The only time they’ll ever sympathize and empathize with you is when they need something from you. Just like how they’re only kind to you when they actually need something from you.

This is something you’ll definitely feel after you hang out with a fake friend long enough. They’ll seem indifferent to your troubles. You know deep inside that they just don’t care enough about you.

19. They Disappear For A Long Span Of Time Without A Word

A fake friend will have no qualms with disappearing without a word for a long period of time. After you do something for them, or after they get something they need from you, it will be very easy for them to disappear. At least, until they need something from you again.

They’ll spend this time away doing whatever it is they do normally. They’ll have fun alone, with their friends, and you won’t even cross their minds. They will only resurface and make their presence known to you again once they need something from you. Not all fake friends will be so blatant about this. Some of them, however, are shameless enough to do exactly this.

20. They Use You As A Way To Expand Their Network

Although there is nothing wrong with expanding your network with the help of your friends, the problem lies when you stick with someone simply because of the network they can open up. This is something fake friends do. If they know they can gain a series of networks from you, whether it’s professional or personal connections, they’ll cling to you no matter what.

When it comes to these people, the moment they gain enough from you, enough to uplift themselves, they’ll drop you in a heartbeat.

21. They Don’t Provide Emotional Support

If you ever confide in a fake friend, if you tell them your worries and troubles of any form, they will shrug it off and offer no emotional support whatsoever. That’s because your problems are none of their concern. The only concern they have with you is whatever it is they can gain from you. Nothing more, nothing less.

Real friends will not hesitate to help a friend out. Especially when your emotions are involved. Fake friends, however, not so much.

22. They Force You In Getting Into Their Interests

Although a fake friend will never bother getting into your interests, they won’t hesitate in getting you to get interested in theirs. Even if you’re comfortable with whatever it is they’re interested in, they will be uncaring enough to be considerate about this. As long as you do what they want you to do, that’s all that matters.

Although not all fake friends do this, mainly because some of them don’t care enough to introduce you to an interest of theirs, some will do this for a few reasons. In some instances, they’ll do this simply to make themselves feel better. Sometimes a fake friend does this because they believe it’s what a friend “should” do. Whatever the case is, if they force you into doing this without any consideration for your comfort and feelings, you have a fake friend on your hands.

23. They Rarely Apologize

A fake friend will rarely apologize. If they do something wrong, if they wrong you in any way, they simply won’t apologize for it. Sometimes, they won’t even know they’ve wronged you, which is why they won’t bother apologizing.

In some cases, however, even if they know they’ve wronged you, they just won’t apologize at all. If they do, the apologize will be very, obviously insincere. A person apologizes because they actually feel sorry for what they’ve done and they want to make amends. A fake friend will just not bother doing this.

24. They’re Very Good Liars

Fake friends are also very good liars. After all, they’ll lie to gain your trust so they can get things from you. They’ll lie so they can have you do things for them. They’ll lie to serve themselves.

Being a liar is not the only staple of a fake friend, nor does it imply that every liar out there is immediately a fake friend. What this simply means is that if you add everything up and include the fact that the person you may suspect is a fake friend is also a very good liar, then there should be no doubt in your mind anymore.

25. You Feel Worse About Yourself Now Than You Did When You First Met Them.

This is one of the most terrible outcomes of having fake friends. A fake friend, with all of their misgivings, inconsiderations, and wrongdoings, will ultimately make you feel worse about yourself. You’ll feel worse about yourself more so than you did before you met them. Having fake friends can diminish your self-esteem, your happiness, and your comfort when it comes to socializing.

Yes, having fake friends can be that traumatizing for some people. Others are lucky enough, all things considered, to have fake friends that aren’t as troublesome. Some people, however, find themselves in a friendship with someone who’s totally out to take full advantage of them. It is a terrible situation to be in and it’s one anyone should get out of immediately.

What You Should Do With Fake Friends

If you’ve fully surmised that you have a fake friend in your circle, the best thing you can and should do is to cut that person from your life immediately. As any decent person will do, you can tell them that you’re going to do something you believe is best for yourself, but they might simply fake an apology and win you over. They do this not because they care about the friendship, but because they don’t want to lose someone who does things for them.

Having said that, the best thing to do in this scenario is to simply cut someone off without hesitation. Live free and cut off the heavy baggage that’s weighing you down. In this case, it’s completely okay to leave with no words. Because this is the best thing to do for you as someone who’s being controlled by a fake friend.

If your situation is not too horrible to merit a quit exit but is terrible enough to cut it off, of course, you can leave and say goodbye. Assess the situation and find out what’s the best approach. What’s important here is that you’re cutting off something immensely negative in your life for the sake of your social and mental health.

It should be crystal clear right now that having fake friends is definitely something you don’t want to be in. There are a lot of people you can be “true” friends with. Make sure you focus your attention on them. They are people who deserve your care and friendship. You don’t need to give those to fake friends anymore.


They Seldom Communicate

There is one kind of Fake Friendship this article does not cover. They seldom Care to Communicate with you. Meaning they seldom contact you, pick up your Phone Calls and respond to your Texts or Emails. No, they just don’t care to do these things – only seldom. Some Friends are a bit lazy at communications between visits or outings, and some are genuinely very busy or overwhelmed with responsibilities maybe, but those who show little to no interest in answering Phone Calls or answering Texts over their Mobile (Cell-Phone) maybe we need to question their interest in Friendship with us. I have experienced a few Friendships like that and it can feel like a tourniquet on your spirit – it weighs you down. No-one needs a Friendship like that, Those people are such a headache………a real drag…….that kind of behavior just drains one’s energy. So lazy careless communications can denote a lack of Respect or Fake Friendships. It is a hurtful or demeaning thing, to seldom pick up a phone call or respond when you can. Especially when someone can’t even bother to send a few words back in a text.

They Want To Change You

They seek or try to change you in some way or ways. It’s like someone who buys a nice house, they like the color of it and the plants in the garden, but they dislike the furnishings and can’t wait to change them (there is nothing wrong with the furnishings, other people may even like them) but nope, they don’t like them and prefer their own taste, to be comfortable in this house. And sometimes it can be a little like a lounge, where someone wants to hit the cushions a few times and fluff them up, to make themselves comfortable. However, you be comfortable with you because someone who seeks to change and rearrange you probably don’t know what they want anyway. I had just one person like that once. She was a Coordinator in a Nursing Home who loved the way I related to and interacted with elderly people. She took an endearment to me, we had some great conversations and she expressed her wishes to be friends. However, it wasn’t long before she mentioned her distaste for Tech – she wanted me to give up my passion for Websites and work with elderly people instead. She also wanted me to become Vegan. I wished her well and said we must go our separate ways, because I’m comfortable with what I do – making a difference in someone’s day or evening.

Churchy Religious People

There is another kind of Fake Friendship this article does not cover. That is when someone puts on a good front for their Religion. That can be to win you over, and sometimes, this is expected of them even if they’re not personally interested in a friendship with you. It’s quite strange sometimes, what some people will do in the name of God. Personally, I would encourage Friendship with Jesus but not with people like that – such friendships are very unsatisfying. I have experienced Jesus as a Friend of Friends through the years, not phony, not fake, and He never changes on you. He is very approachable and always available. There are some who use His name but have substituted or added religion to Him, and that can be confusing. For me personally, I prefer relating with Jesus and with people over “church attendance” which can in itself be misleading or complex. I favor simplicity with Him and walking closely with Him rather than complications. I also love His Words when they are not misconstrued. There are many these days who prefer this genuineness of faith. Cheers!


A very good Post to read after this one would be
Ways To Identify A Good Friend And Be A Good Friend HERE
There are two good Articles that go well together
you will find some good gems there.

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