Hi there, this page is to Release Pressure for those who have been Living with Friend’s Demands.
Concerning Friendships, I wish to help people in different ways.
If you are experiencing upsetting circumstances and your feelings are delicate, this page is not for you but may possibly Help make you Wise about how often you share those things. We are only human – not necessarily stronger than you, even if we carry ourselves well. Each of us should learn to take things to our Creator God, and keep Friendships for Happy Time. That would cheer you up better anyway and will Benefit Everyone much Better, believe me.
TWO POEMS ON THIS PAGE!
Why did I previously place this Page in the Healing Words Menu on one of my websites? Because I see a need for it.
We would All benefit by practicing Wisdom we find Here.
This page is for those who have had problems with friends sharing Heavy Conversation or Problems over and over – some of which have little else to talk about. They offend again and again. This takes the pleasure out of any friendship and is pretty hard to bare. Some people expect far too much – we are not God (we are not built for that)
We are not Counselors – Friends often want us to be. And these same people are not interested in advice.
They just want Free Counsel, whatever, and it costs you heaps.
I’ve had ‘Burn-Out’ from that kind of thing in times gone by and I am here to help you!
(that’s when your nervous system and physical energy are really exhausted)
YOU WILL ALSO LEARN GOOD PRINCIPLES ON THIS PAGE and the WISDOM WITH FRIENDS PAGE.
“Friends Are Not Your Counselors“
When Friendship Offends
Some people are like vapor less clouds – they leave you dry.
I don’t want their vapor less clouds in conversation, much less their gloomy clouds.
Yes, some people are selfish or careless in their content of conversation.
This leaves your spirit feeling so parched and dry.
Some people can’t stand their gloom, so they offload it on you.
Some are generous they share it with you.
When I take the care to dismiss upsetting things
Whoever said I want to take on someone else’s?
Do I have a sign behind me that says “share your bad stuff, all the more the better?”
Does it say “Free counseling here” OR “Practicing to be a counselor?”
Did you not notice the frown on my brow or the faraway look in my eyes
When I wanted to escape but was too polite?
Yes you have done for me a disservice again and again
That is not my understanding of a True Friend.
So you must hear this message, my ears I’ll not lend
Only to be brought down again and again
by this friend and that friend when they wish to offend.
I’d rather be a happy hermit that would be wise
And keep my thoughts healthy, that is no lie.
What would it take for my friendship again?
Speak of some happy things and hardships fling.
The more the better and make my heart sing.
If not I must now go my way to better days
When it comes to my hearing, only kindness pays.
Don’t think this is mean; I’ve had more than my share
From this one and that one who don’t practice care.
I’m placing my order for better in life
I’m not a conduit for discontents and strife.
How long did you think such a friendship would last?
If you’re now wiser OK if not I will pass.
I am not guilty, I have to refrain
Some friendships you see have caused me pain.
Janet Vargas © 2018
A Word Of Advice:
Some people just don’t know when you’ve had enough.
Sometimes they do but they offend anyway.
Also, you should know, some people have friends they share good times with
and one friend they keep in reserve for all the serious stuff.
You should not be such a person – do not play that part for anyone.
God does not expect that of you!
That’s His Roll.
I’ve had friends who confide in me about family and friends imposing on them
and then turn around and do the SAME WITH ME.
Now I have to refrain from this kind of thing altogether.
Life is too short, it really is. I wish you all well –
those with Upsetting Circumstances AND those who are Not Counselors.
Janet Vargas © 2018
Empathy Statement: We must thoughtfully come against Friends and Family Members continually Venting or sharing Heavy/Negative stuff in our hearing friends – It is actually a form of mental and emotional Abuse, with numerous Health Risks (apart from the main one mentioned here) take on the ability to Say NO and say “Stop. Stop right there!” OR “This is making me feel quite ill. I can’t hear anymore” OR “You should find a Counselor” OR “I feel you are taking advantage of me” OR “I am not built to handle (all) this” OR “I will help you make an appointment”……….. if they don’t respect your wishes, do ask them to leave or don’t see them again. Give yourself ample time to Recover – this is not wrong, it’s necessary – and never go back to that again. You are not being selfish, that person is, by imposing on you so much or so often. BE FREE!
PS Note: Something just came to mind. If it’s a family member, you can allow about 15mins for something that requires some Compassion or Empathy and then say “let’s do something nice now” You can even do this with a Sensitive Friend. This way it doesn’t get to the point of overwhelm. It could be on an occasional basis only, rather than regular. That would be wise.
Take Care!